someone once asked me, “If you’re not enjoying your life, why would anyone want to share it?”
I thought I would have time to post over the weekend, but…well.
Housecleaning for company on Saturday. Rain on Sunday, and all I
wanted to do was watch football all day. (At least we won.
Yeah, um…you don’t LOSE to the Texans.)
Last week was…well, strange. Exciting. Adventurous.
On Tuesday I received a strange package in the mail. No return
address, computer-printed label (first name spelled correctly, last
name, tiny error, could have been a typo), and–get this–NO
POSTMARK. Which means I can’t use a city as a clue. So, did
it miss the postmark machine or did the sender live close enough to put
in in the mail box? (But then, why did they waste four stamps
just to deliver it themselves? A decoy?)
The strangest part was the contents–four snap lights, like the girls
used on their boat on the CO100. Someone knew I wanted to play
with them. But it would have had to have been someone who heard me
talk at the beginning of the race about trying them and then complain
that I didn’t get a chance to. Right? Or did someone
magically know that my greatest wish was to crack a snap light?
All I know is, I kept wishing all weekend for a major power outage from these storms.
Wednesday~
~survived subbing for two of Michelle’s classes.
~saw some beautiful flowers and a butterfly on the way home. butterflies remind me that i’m in God’s hands.
~saw an interesting (read: weird) production of Much Ado About Nothing
at the Alley that a good friend is in.
~it was a
spur-of-the-moment, friend calling with free tickets,
glad-i-have-my-makeup-on-already kind of decision.
~i loved
it.
~it’s hard not to feel elegant going all dressed up to downtown’s theater district.
~the set of the play made me think of A Midsummer Night’s Dream, my actress friend’s mom thought Teletubbies. ouch.
~went to a cast party after and talked myself hoarse (it helped that I was already halfway hoarse)
~met some interesting people and managed to be very charming instead of tongue-tied.
~had fun looking like i “belonged.” *grin* sometimes it’s nice to have friends in high places.
And then the weekend, with it’s getting-major-stuff-done, company,
cousins who go get me chocolate, rain, and football. And a really
good night’s sleep last night.
On a random note, afternoon thunderstorms make for great sunsets.
More rain today. I’m glad the sky is dark.
ever been convicted by a children’s song video?
“here are my hands, let them serve…“
i don’t want to serve.
i’d rather be selfish.
i’m not even serving somewhere amazing,
like an orphanage in Mexico or a village in Africa!
it’s just my family,
ordinary people, and i’m in an ordinary life.
day after day, year after year,
the same thing over and over
only harder as people grow up and move
from cute, fun babies to annoying kids and teenagers.
i want off this life!!
i feel like saying, like Moses,
“Lord, couldn’t you send someone else?”
Moses was slow of speech,
i am weak of limb…and spirit, too, apparently.
half the time i feel like a first-class wimp.
unfortunately, i can also be a bit of a whiner.
yet there it is again…that Voice.
“Follow Me.”
and the realization that i call Him “my Lord.”
not just “Lord”, but “my Lord”
how can i say anything but
“Here are my hands, let them serve.
Let my mouth speak Your words.“
[even when i don’t know what You’re doing.]
“…knowing that the testing of your faith produces…”
I almost don’t care what it produces; just knowing that it’s productive makes it bearable.
they say the average price in the nation for gas is around $2.50, down from $3.
i paid $1.99 today.
i guess there are advantages to living near an oil-town after all.
to a singer in musical tryouts:
“…what courage, to pursue a note that has not been accessed in the natural world.”
a new favorite quote (High School Musical)
rollerblading with my sis.
beautiful weather at sunset.
crossing the big field to the school,
nice wide sidewalk,
all that grass makes for chilly breezes.
and lots of bugs.
on the way home
taking the downhill slope at a nice fast coast,
got a bug in my eye
and maybe a couple in my mouth.
i just swallowed those
but had to wait till we got home
to fish the one out of my eye.
amazing what you can take in stride
when you don’t have much of a choice.
i suppose i could have danced around the kitchen,
totally freaked out and made
my mom or Steph help me,
but i didn’t.
i just got it out and showed the baby. 
Someone just reminded me that I really want
to see Neil Diamond in concert before I die. Or before he
dies. I almost posted that I’d marry any guy who got me a ticket
when he came through last October. (They were $70!!) But I
think my dad might have thrown a fit. And even Neil isn’t enough
to base a lifelong commitment on…so I didn’t say it, but I thought
it. And I still really want to see him someday. Dad says
he’s a born performer, and his concerts would be amazing even though he’s getting old now. *sigh*
Okay, sorry, but that was all I could remember that I’ve been thinking
about. That, and I’ve been reading a new biography about Ava
Gardner, and being suddenly glad I wasn’t born beautiful and never
pursued a career in Hollywood. And I don’t think I could ever
marry a movie star. Can you imagine the pressure?
Later, when I’m feeling less nonsensical, I’ll post about what God
has been teaching me this past week. And I still have pictures to
post of the CO 100.
Sometimes it takes a storm
To really know the light
The scent of rain
The weight of clouds
Pulling down the sky
Sometimes it takes a storm
To know how you feel
To understand indigo
And the varnished sun
Lighting up the fields
It takes the rain between the lines to know what sorrow finds
The way a cloud divides sometimes
The clearing and the blue
I love you
I was just passing through
And taken by surprise
Between the black sky
And the blue
Between the black sky and the blue
I love you
I love you
~Fernando Ortega, Storm
dottie got me thinking about where i was on 9/11 five years ago.
running late for work, heard the breaking news announcement in the car.
i didn’t even really know what the World Trade Center was,
and i couldn’t figure out what they meant at first…a plane flew into a building?
what were those people thinking?
the guys had a tv set up in the back when i got there
we watched in horror as a second plane appeared in the picture…
people jumping…they looked so small, but so significant.
the news anchors were in tears.
no one knew anything yet.
we heard briefly about the pentagon and the crash in pennsylvania…
by then we knew it was terroists.
it was too hard to stand and watch the tv for more than a few seconds at a time.
they showed the same pictures over and over again.
and then the first collapse…
i don’t think we got any work done that day.
i still had to answer phones–were they slower that day? can’t remember.
my boss cried. all the guys were quiet.
nobody knew what to do. should we just go home?
i don’t think any of us understood what had actually happened.
it was a strange, silent day.
that day all americans were equal, we were all the same…
we were all stunned.
PennyDaisy 