first beach trip this summer
decent 
waves, not too cold
i love the ocean
i love it best when it moves
it means i’m too busy figuring out the tide patterns
to think about sea creatures

i think i need a haircut so i don’t have to think about it when i surf

oh, and a storm came in while we were out there
it took it about two hours to move over us
and then it dumped rain,
sprinkling, pouring
it’s been a long time since i got wet just sitting on the beach
if it had poured a little harder
we could have rinsed the salt out of our hair and the sand off our skin

why is summertime at the beach so appealing?
and why am i suddenly of an athletic bent every June?
why do i love riding waves so much?

I stumbled on this book quite by accident at the library.  It’s a
long story, but it has God’s fingerprints all over it.  I was
actually wanting something like this book and didn’t even know
it.  Just the title had me jumping for joy.  “This is
what I needed!”  It’s like one of those principles that I
believe…when I think about it.

some favorite quotes from chapter 1:

    What Copernicus
did for the earth [declaring the earth to be round, and the sun to be the center of the solar system], God does for our souls. 
Tapping the collective shoulder of humanity, He points to the Son—His
Son—and says, “Behold, the center of it all.” 
(Eph. 1:20-22)

   When God looks at
the center of the universe, He doesn’t look at you. When heaven’s stagehands direct the spotlight toward the star of
the show, I need no sunglasses.  No
light falls on me.

   Lesser orbs,
that’s us.  Appreciated.  Valued. 
Loved dearly.  But central?  Essential? 
Pivotal?  Nope.  Sorry. 
Contrary to the Ptolemy within us, the world does not revolve around
us.  Our comfort is not God’s priority.  If it is, something’s gone awry.  If we are the marquee event, how do we explain
flat-earth challenges like death, disease, slumping economies, or rumbling
earthquakes?  If God exists to please us
then shouldn’t we always be pleased? 

   God does not exist
to make a big deal out of us.  We exist
to make a big deal out of Him.  It’s not
about me.  It’s all about Him.

   Life makes sense
when we accept our place.  The gift of
pleasures, the purpose of problems—all for Him.  The God-centered life works. 
And it rescues us from a life that doesn’t.

   But how do we make
the shift?  How can we be bumped off
center? …We move from me-focus to God-focus by pondering Him.  Witnessing Him.  Following the counsel of the apostle Paul: 
“But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass, the glory of the
Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by
the Spirit of the Lord.”  (2 Cor. 3:18)

   Beholding Him changes us.

I can’t believe I’m still sore from Saturday.  And I didn’t even
paddle!  (It was all that forcing myself to stay awake while driving.)  But it was so much
fun!  I am really going to try to follow the Safari next year; and
I’ll definitely be following if Steph ever paddles it.

Really the biggest drawback, besides the obvious (heat), was the
bugs.  When you sat in the shade to wait for your boat (logical,
right?), the mayflies sort of swarmed you in waves, and the ones you
didn’t brush away flew in your face and and died in the sunscreen you’d
brilliantly slathered on.  Ick.

Steven and Peter were first in the C2 division.  Hurray!  I
hate to say I was surprised, but I honestly didn’t expect them to push
it too hard.  But they did really well, and they looked
great.  Even a no-nothing like me could tell they had better form
and technic than a lot of the other people out there.  Good job
guys!  Miah had better get his self out in that boat–I’m starting
to think of it as Steve and Pete’s team in the Safari.  :-Þ

i’m starting to see little examples of that radical obedience.
i didn’t realize how quiet it could be.

like my mother…
she takes care of us and does all the typical mommy things
she helps with our business
before sisters and i could drive, she took us everywhere (and i do mean everywhere)
she manages to fit in her pilates classes a couple of times a week
and she does it all with more patience for the lot of us than i could conjure up
she never complains that she has no life or that having so many children has stifled her
she doesn’t constantly look for more “things” to fill her life (my weakness)
she seems content with what God is doing right now
not to say that she doesn’t have dreams (like, for a bigger house that we could fit in)
or that she is perfect–she has her moments of human weaknesses
but does radical obedience to God mean we don’t ever fail?
obedience doesn’t mean achieving perfection, just trying for it (and being willing to ask forgiveness)

okay, so i found an example of suburban radical obedience
maybe two…

i don’t spend quite as much time around my dad as i do around mom
but i can see his obedience to God still
he works hard at his job
and he works to build a business that will take care of his family no matter what happens to him
to do this he as to give up lots of his own “dreams” and hobbies
things like golf, tennis, building furniture for the house, keeping the lawn perfectly manicured
he knows that someday he can go back to those, but for now he needs to provide this security for his large family
again, his obedience to God is not shown in a man who never falls, but
in someone who is willing to depend on God for the strength to obey

i’ve also noticed that radical obedience looks different for each person
someone who is called to be a nurse is obedient in pursuing the training, etc.
where someone who was called to be stay-at-home mother would be actually disobeying to pursue a nursing career
but who’s to say when someone is doing what God called them to and when they’re not?
i’m beginning to understand that only God and i know what obedience looks like for me
welling-meaning people have questioned my choices,
perhaps worried that my own
fears or that tyrannical (at worst) or old-fashioned (at best) parents are keeping me from my true potential
i only doubt my “life” when i spend most of my reading time in something besides
His Word,
like style and fashion books, woman power books, or singles-on-their-own books, sometimes even travel books or novels
i guess, too, that only God and i know what is not profitable for me
but if i am walking closely with God, i have no doubts about what i am doing
and by remaining in close fellowship with Him, i can be sure i won’t miss out when it’s time to change direction

sometimes i want to be a star…
fame, glamour–they have a strong pull for me
but as i ponder my Creator and begin to see my place in His world
i begin to desire to be not a star, but a moon
reflecting only the light of the Son

Radical obedience.
Isn’t that what God calls for?
And yet, how little of it
we are actually taught.
How little of it we see
demonstrated.
We may hear or
meet missionaries
and the like who have
given up anything and everything
to serve God.
But what about “normal” people?
What does radical obedience look like
in the suburbs?

All my life I’ve had dreams gathering and growing in my head. 
Things I wanted to be, and do; things I wanted to learn; places I
wanted to go.  Oh, the languages I would learn, the talents I
would uncover, the skills I would master, the interests I would turn to
expertise!  I knew I could never do it all in one lifetime, but I
figured I would die trying.

My aunt recently sent out an email update on my cousin (the one who
just went to Germany).  She wrote so inspiringly about how Kat had
developed all these goals and interests over the years, and how so many
of them are being fed and fulfilled by this stint in Europe. 
Right down to the three-story house with a winding staircase that she’s
wanted since she was little.

Does inspiration ever make you sick?  Well, I felt sick.  I
tried so hard not to question God about it, not to do the whole “why
me” song and dance.  But it happened anyway…

Me:  God, I have dreams, too!  What about me?  Am I the stepchild here?
       
God:  What is most important in your life?

Me:  But why must I be the only person I know who puts their own “life” on
         hold for the good of others?  Why must I be the unselfish one?  I’m tired
         of sacrifing!  Why must I serve while others live?

God:  Serving isn’t living?  Your life is unique.  What I require of you I require
          of no one else.  You are called to something different.

Me:  Yeah, I’ve heard that before, too.  Lord, this isn’t a calling!  This is just
         daily drudgery.  I thought a calling was something you spent your life
   
     pursuing.  I’m not called!  I have
no purpose!  I’m–I’m just trudging
         along, waiting for life to
happen.
           God, don’t you
think it’s a little pathetic that my biggest “event” this
          year happened to someone else?  I measured time by it: “Two weeks
          until ______”, “Tomorrow’s the big day”, “What will I wear?” “Well,
   
      now it’s over…was that it?”  And all
that was left was me.  No more
          excitement, no more life.  You call that purpose, Lord?  Am I missing
          something here?

God:  WHAT IS MOST IMPORATANT IN YOUR LIFE?

Me:  Well, um…I guess, to be perfectly honest–*whispering*–me.

God:  I AM.  I am your Creator.  I am your God.  You have not chosen Me;
          I have chosen you.  You do not choose your calling any more than you
          chose your parents, your birth, or even your re-birth.  I have chosen.
          I am the Lord, your God.  All you need to know is that I have put you in
          this place.  And I
will lead you in the path I have for you.  I know your
          path–I created it.  Every mountain, every valley, every curve, and every
          straight, lonely stretch of highway.  I have made it to shape you into who
          I want you to be, not who
you wish to become.  You are Mine.  That is your
calling. 
          Heed My voice.  Seek
My face.  Obey My commands.  Trust in Me at all times. 
           I AM.

          Am I enough?

Me:  ——- (blank)

There’s some thing sweet about sitting at the computer on
a Saturday morning and hearing your sister play the Shire theme on the
piano behind you.  Better than a CD right now…

I miss Steph.  She went off at four this morning to actually
paddle in the prelims today, and since she had a ride, I didn’t really
need to go.  So I stayed home to finish recovering.  
I’m kinda bummed that I didn’t wake up to see her off.   And
I hate missing out on stuff.  Especially stuff she’s doing.
  You’d think we were twins or something…

And then your sister starts playing the melancholy theme for Anakin and
Amidala…and you didn’t want to feel depressed.  Thanks, sis.

I think I was poisoned last night.  In any case, I’m cured of fast food for a while…

“…then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being
naught in my sight, shall snuff it.”

You think maybe Bin Laden watched too much Monty Python?

Our cousin Kathleen is leaving to be an Au Pair (that’s French, btw,
loosely translated into someone who lives with a family as a
nanny/housekeeper in a foreign country).  She is going to Germany
to stay with a British/German family.  (She will spend the summer
holiday in England.)  I am extremely jealous. 

Okay, I’m over it.  Sort of.  I do know that I don’t want to
run off all over the world yet.  I like to think that Gracie needs
me as much as I need her.  (Who else will rock her to sleep at
night, even though it might spoil her?) 

So we are off to visit Kat and family since she leaves in a couple of weeks, and
she will be gone for a year.  (She does like to jump into things
with both feet.) 

Hopefully we’ll be back in time for Bible study Sunday night.  I
miss everyone, and I hate missing more than a week at a time.  So
long, peoples!  Have a blessed weekend–may it be either relaxing
or productive, but not both.

I leave you with a quote from a play by Jeanette Cliff George: 
            
                        “Man is naturally optimistic.  Otherwise, he would eat his young.”