life is crazy, crazy busy.

school is good.
i love learning about the body and how my profession can help it.
(i have to admit that some of my anatomy and physiology classes
leave me not wanting to move for fear some cell in my body will explode,
or some bone will decide it doesn’t like it’s structure and break into pieces.
not that i really think God would let go of holding all my atoms together,
but the education is definitely eye-opening and sometimes
it makes me want to twitch.)

i’m learning to like the process of learning to love people.
as “social” as i am, it surprises me sometime how uncaring i can be.
well, God did it, and He knew it would mean extra work for Him, too.  *smiles*

right now i’m waiting to glimpse the light at the end of the tunnel.
classes end Dec. 6, and then 50 hours of internship.
then i get to take the state board exam and
shell out a couple hundred bucks for a license.

the best part of life right now is,
i have hope for my future because i’ve found some friends
who encourage me and believe in me
and help me fight to keep a positive out look on life.
it’s called having hope.
it’s called belonging to a cause.
i like being part of a fight for something good.

and the best part of coming home from school three days a week
is hearing my little doll (Gracie is four now) squeal my name when she sees me.
my monkey.
i love her so much.

::edit::
new colors in honor of my Cowboys

It’s hard when someone encourages you
to love people who are barely likable.
(Thanks, Josh; you’re a true friend.)  :-Þ
What about when someone starts developing
a nearly-creepy attachment to you
that you have no intention of encouraging.

Just for the record, I don’t handle clingy, needy people very well.
Tolerate them, yes.  Love them?  LIKE them?
Surely God understands…He’s the one who made me this way,..

          I’m starting to worry that He did it on purpose just so that I could change.

Off to study, and to pray about these new situations at school.

i still exist.
life has been crazy and exciting.

working towards some things for my future,
one of which involves school.
my sister and i started massage therapy classes today.
amazing story.
christian guy owns the school.
our families met randomly in a burger king parking lot.
they asked about our church, we asked about their school,
and he ended up offering us scholarships.  !!!!
aaaaaannnddd…the law has just changed, requiring a six month
course instead of the original twelve-week course.
he got us in a class that started in time to be the shorter class.

so we like our fellow classmates, love our instructors, and can’t wait to practice and be practiced on three days a week.

the hardest part about this is not letting “school” distract me
from some other goals that i had set.  not letting school take up more time
or energy than it actually requires.
i tend to be very lazy, and it doesn’t take much to talk myself into “resting” after
all my “hard work”.  i don’t want to be a bum the rest of the week.

my Gracie-doll was a flower girl in a wedding a couple of weeks ago.  she was beautiful (of course) and handled it all very well.  we had asked her evaluator, Lyn, if she thought Sonya could handle it, and Lyn said, “yes, as long as the bride is aware that she won’t be the center of attention as long as Sonya is up there.”  *grin*  so true.  she spent half the time waving back at the groom’s mother.  maybe i can get some pictures posted.  ha!  i say that, but it rarely happens.  life has taken priority over xanga.  i guess that’s a good thing.

love to all my friends, most whom i hardly see these days!

the tropical storm in the Gulf yesterday made for some marvelous waves
as soon as we heard there was a red flag we piled everybody and their boogie boards
into the van and headed south.

they were good waves, too–
big, but not so high that they slam down on you.
mostly there were a lot of them and they were pretty strong.
and i got some really good rides.  one of them all the way to the sand.

i was soooo tired on the way home.  a good tired.  wiped out and happy.
today my arms hurt from using the board.  it’s a lot of work to fight those waves!
just getting past the first line of them took about five minutes.
fortunately my head does not hurt from where i got wacked with my board.
(that was all thanks to my oldest brother and a crab.  it hurt at
the time, but at least i gave the best scream of my life.)

I almost swallowed a bug yesterday.

It must have been in the coffee, what little was left in the pot from the day before.
If it wasn’t dead yet, it was dead after I zapped it in the microwave.
I still can’t believe I didn’t notice it when I poured the coffee into the mug,
or when I poured the coffee, steaming, over a bowl of Homemade Vanilla.
Maybe it fell into my bowl as I sat spooning and sipping my concoction in the living room.
Maybe it had been crawling on the ceiling.
Almost finished the melted ice cream and now-cold coffee,
talking to my dad, I feel something hit my lip.
Look down.  It’s a big, black bug.
My first thought was, thank God I’ve always sipped things
very carefully with my lips nearly closed.
“Oh, my.  I think I’m gonna be…” was all that came out,
and my hand covered my mouth and I couldn’t figure out how to make it come back down.
“…sick?” Dad finished for me.

I couldn’t tell.  Every now and then I’d shudder at the thought, but part of me didn’t care.
Might have been different if I’d swallowed it and felt it in my mouth
instead of just on my lip. 
That’s a thought worth jumping around
for.
(Just imagine if I’d swallowed it!  I would have had spasms for days,
and I’d have been tempted to have them turn me upside down.)

My sister took the bowl from me and fished out the bug onto a napkin.
It looked like a cross between a mosquito and a fly.
It’s upper body was textured like a fly, and rounded, but it was bigger and had a nose like a ‘skeeter.
Actually, it looked like the nose of a tiny anteater.  Maybe it was just having it’s afternoon coffee when I fried it.
Oh, and it had a stinger, or at least a very pointed end.
I wish I had a picture of it to post.   I’ve never seen a bug like that before,
and I’ve lived here for nearly thirty years.
It didn’t look real.  Something out of a story.  Or a crossbreeding lab in a movie.
How on EARTH did it get in my bowl???
I think looking at it made me think more like a scientist about it (I love dissecting),
so no freaking out, dancing around the kitchen like we usually do around here.

But I still couldn’t eat supper.

Yes, call me by my pet-name! let me hear

Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Sonnets from the Portuguese, XXXIII

                of all days to be grouchy to people…



::edit::

much better now.
got to swing in the morning shade,
play a computer game with my brother,
sisters fixed me a wonderful breakfast,
and i got to finish Gost Rider.
cake and ice cream just now…

attitude adjustment.
i did a lot of praying, too.

i’m happier.
and fuller.

Ladies and gentlemen!  Moy friends!–
(that was supposed to be a cockney accent…I guess I’ve been watching too much Cary Grant lately)

I apologize for putting several people on pins and needles.  The
preceding post wasn’t meant to be hinting at anything.  It’s just
a poem I’ve liked for many years and can understand the feeling
of–except for the kissing part, of course.  Don’t ask me how I
can possibly
relate, I don’t know myself.  There is a part of me that feels
I’ve already lived an entire
life somewhere else.  Though I suppose if that were the case, I
would be much wiser than I am.  As things stand, there is no
exciting news to share.  It’s just me being silly.  However,
you young men may take to heart, if you wish, a lesson in how subtle
things can often have great impact.  I suspect that Colin already
knew this and that his subtlety was deliberate.

Sincerely,
Penny Girl

              
THE LOOK


     Strephon kissed me in the spring,
     
  Robin in
the fall,
    
But Colin only looked at me
    
  
And never kissed at all.




                     
  
  Strephon’s kiss was lost in jest,

       
Robin’s lost in play,
    
But the kiss in Colin’s eyes

       
Haunts me night and day.

                                                               

       
              
              
                                  ~Sara Teasdale

they made me change my password.   what the monkey??
hope i remember it for later. 

in other news……….

i cut my hair. 
literally. 
me. 
myself.
i gave myself a haircut. 

and my hair-cutting sister is shocked that it actually turned out.
it helps that it’s curly on the ends.  still, it is rather amazing
that i only took about 20 minutes on it, and it’s not even
lopsided.  an inch difference from one side to the other would
have been noticeable even on curly hair.
yes, it was just too long and i was tired of trying to brush it out everyday to wash it.  and whatever hair came out
from brushing or washing was so long it was horrid to deal with.
i almost had someone chop it off for me on the safari.  it would
take me a full five minutes to brush it before i could shower, and i
was inevitably in a hurry and it frustrated me no end.  but the
scissors never came out of the
backpack so i lived with it for another month and then decided i’d had it.  snip, snip…two inches of it in the trash.
it’s still past my shoulders.  just.  and i’m so pleased with
myself (vainity and pride, i know) everytime i have to mess with it.

oh, and i bought some shoes.  i’m happy.