happy, happy tonight.

mom and i had a wonderful talk.
lots of tears, lots of laughter.
a lot of humility and more love than i deserve.
my mom is amazing.
on top of everything else in her life,
she takes the time to care about me.
she’s so gracious and willing to listen,
willing to change to make our relationship grow.
best of all, so willing to ask God to change her.

i wanna be like my mama when i grow up.

Lights are up.
They make our porch glow.
Someone said our house looks inviting.

Today I took my baby sister out in the backyard to swing.
She didn’t really get to yesterday because of the cold snap,
and we’re still watching her health.
She fell asleep.  Just sitting there on my lap; she didn’t even slump
like she normally does because she was so bundled up.
It reminded me of A Christmas Story…”I can’t put my arms down!”

I brought her in and laid her on the love-seat to take off her mittens and hat.
She woke up long enough for me to pull her coat off and carry her to mom’s chair.
We pulled a fleece blanket over us and tilted the recliner back, and one of the boys
opened the blinds on the sliding glass door so we could see the sunset.
Gracie burrowed down against me and started snoring.
Eventually I drifted, too, all cozy with a warm little body in my lap..
My last thought was, This is my happy spot.

The winter storm that dropped two feet of snow
on the Rockies two days ago
blew in about nine-thirty or ten this morning.
And the temperature dropped 20 degrees
in half the number of minutes.
Actually, it dropped thirty degrees altogether,
but I’m not sure how fast that was.
Our poor old thermometers can’t keep up.
I think we need a digital one if we want to observe
these marvelous phenomenons.
Eighty-two degrees yesterday,
forty today.  Now our front windows
are frosty (they face north), and my sister moved
all our potted plants around to the back deck against the house.
Winter is here!!!  Just in time for Christmas!
Shelly and I will put up lights tomorrow–we always wait
for December and cold weather,
although, why anyone would voluntarily choose the torture
of being stuck in the cold wind to hang Christmas lights, is beyond me…
but we always seem to pick the coldest day and now it’s tradition.
(I just can’t see hanging Christmas decorations in hot, humid weather.  We are not Florida, after all.)
At least we will be justified in the amount of hot cocoa we drink. 

Three days after Thanksgiving and we’re turning on the air.  Here’s
what’s freaky–it feels normal.  Eighty-degree weather is not
unusual for us this time of year.  And Montana’s getting
snow.  I think I’d like to live there for a while and try out the
difference.

Giants lost their game yesterday, which puts Cowboys at the top of
their division.  The Thanksgiving game was a thing of
beauty.  Even though it was almost boring at the end…that’s the
kind of boring we’ve learned not to complain about.

Two Thanksgiving meals in three days.  At least we didn’t have to make the first one.

Wednesday night a couple of sisters and I went to la Madeleine to hang
out with a new friend from church.  Before we new it, four hours
had past and we’d made a very dear friend.  She has a very
different background but now we all have so much in common.  It
was such a blessing to form a new bond like that.  I haven’t made
a really good friend in the area since I met all my childhood
friends.  And yes, I love all my old friends, but only a few of
them are still around…so it’s nice to have someone to add to the
party.

I got to bathe a six-day-old baby girl yesterday.  She was so
tiny, I almost forgot everything I knew.  But I got her clean and
dressed with her new daddy looking on (he’s amazingly laid-back), and
then got to comfort her after making her scream (she hated having her
arms forced into long sleeves).  She was so sweet and soft and
cuddly.  It made me want one of my own.  I’m working on an
excuse to go visit her and her mommy again.

No profound thoughts tonight…I’m too tired.  (And I ate too much
of my sister’s amazing spinach-artichoke dip.)  God is pulling at
my heart.  And this time He isn’t letting me hold on to little
bits of it like I’ve tried to in past years.  I feel like I’m
going through an intensive character-training program.  What I’m being
prepared for?

::Edit::
Our pastor is preaching on Exodus and pointed out that in the ninth
plague on Egypt, that three days of darkness where the Egyptians didn’t
even move from their homes would have been a good time for the children
of Israel to sneak on out.  And yet God kept them there, as
always, to show Himself strong.  One more lesson for Pharaoh about
who God really is–and that He’ll really do what He threatens–and the
children of Israel would walk out in broad daylight.  No slipping
away in the dead of night for God’s people.  Everyone would see
this promise fulfilled!

Isn’t it marvelous to know we serve that big of a God?

i built another temple to a stranger
i gave away my heart to the rushing wind
i set my course to run right into danger
sought the company of fools instead of friends


you know i've been unfaithful
 with lovers and lines
  while you're turning over tables
 with the rage of a jealous kind
i chose the gallows to the aisle
  thought that love would never find
 hanging ropes will never keep you
and your love of a jealous kind
 love of a jealous kind


tryin' to jump away from rock that keeps on spreading
for solace in the shift of the sinking sand
i'd rather feel the pain all too familiar
than be broken by a lover i don't understand
'cause i don't understand


you know i've been unfaithful
 with lovers and lines
  while you're turning over tables
 with the rage of a jealous kind
i chose the gallows to the aisle
  thought that love would never find
 hanging ropes will never keep you
and your love of a jealous kind


  one hundred other lovers, more, one hundred other altars
 if i should slow my pace and finally subject me to grace
and love that shames the wise
 betrays the heart's deceit and lies
  and breaks the back of foolish pride


you know i've been unfaithful
 with lovers and lines
  while you're turning over tables
 with the rage of a jealous kind
i chose the gallows to the aisle
  thought that love would never find
 hanging ropes will never keep you
and your love of a jealous kind

from jars of clay, who we are instead






Exodus 34:14

Okay, my brothers and I decided that in that new Direct TV commercial they keep showing during the
games, Jessica Simpson looks like one of those bobble-head dolls. 
Unfortunately, turning up the sound to hear what she’s saying only
makes it worse.  Is that really how she wants people to think of her? 
Oh, please don’t tell me Tony Romo might actually be interested in her!  Wouldn’t that be just typical.

I think that may have been the hardest game I’ve ever watched.

You hate to see a great team get beat, even if it’s your own team that stomps ’em.

I wasn’t sure we’d do it–I mean come on, it’s the Colts–and I was all set to be sad for the ‘Boys and glad for the Colts.

But halfway through I was half-afraid we would win and didn’t know what to think.

I will admit that I still screamed, “Hit him, hit him!” when Peyton had too much time.

But then I said, “Aww…” when he’d walk back to the bench after a frustrating lack of third-down conversions.



I think we owe our defense more than half the credit for the whole
thing…even the out-scoring bit. 

(They put us on the board
finally.)  But Romo and his boys did good, too.  I’m prodigiously proud of him.



So we’ve ended the Colt’s winning streak, managed to stay at something like 8 penalties
for only 53 yards or so (not bad for the team that holds the dubious
honor of leading the nation in penalty yardage), and not one single Terrell Owens incident.  He played, he caught, he ran, he held on, he got back up, end of story. 



How ’bout them Cowboys!!!









(I still hope the Colts make it to the Super Bowl.)

exciting.
invigorating.
it makes the ends of your scarf dance
as far out to the sides as they can reach.

it’s Christmas and spring
all rolled together,
eggnog and picnics
and hot cocoa and kites.

it can be a pain,
literally if you get sand in your eye;
annoying if your car gets caught by a gust.

it reminds me of being

with dear friends
way up in Lubbock, playing in the park and
laboring just to walk back to the car.
a force of nature so great you can lean backwards into
thin air and not fall.

i suppose it has something to do with growing up here,
but i love the Texas wind.

Do you ever wish God would use something less painful to grow you?
Do you ever wonder if you’ll crumble before you change?
Do you ever wonder if there will be anything left of you when God’s done?

That’s the thing, though, isn’t it…
do I really want anything of me left?
Do I want a little dross left over in my gold?
What is there to hold on to? 
Just to show what I went through,
and “see what I could have been”?

I hadn’t anticipated my relationships having to go through the fire.
What if there’s nothing left of them before I learn my lessons?

Do I really believe God knows what He’s doing?

Yes.