Author: Penny Girl

3 Thoughts on Pastors Denying Their Faith

~ Penny Girl ~ Leave a comment

A few high-profile pastors/authors/leaders in the Church have recently and publicly denied their faith, most notably Josh Harris, who greatly influenced my generation with his books and conferences.  I even met him once and felt like he and his wife could have easily been some of my best friends if geography had allowed.

When I heard he’d left his wife and renounced his faith, I had three reactions in rapid succession:

  1. If ever we needed proof that men are under serious spiritual attack in this nation, here it is.  Good men are so needed in this world, godly men even more so.  We need them to be leaders, protectors, advocates for the weak, defenders of right and truth.  Strong, decent men who love God are becoming so rare this single girl is sometimes tempted to believe they’re extinct.  Our society is so mixed up on what a man should be, it actually ridicules good men and exalts ridiculous ones.  And the church is sometimes not far behind.  I honestly believe that men are Satan’s target right now.  We need to pray fervently for the men in our lives and for manhood as a whole in this country.
  2. We need to be diligent to guard ourselves and never be so proud that we believe we’re safe from falling hard.  If these men, who presumably were in constant communion with God, studying His Word and often caring for His sheep, can take enough false steps to fall this far out of reality, what makes me think I’ll never stray that far?  Whether you believe that it’s possible to lose salvation or not, anyone can see these men are in a spiritually dangerous place.
  3. This is a good reminder that our hope is not in pastors, or denominations, or belief systems, or even the Church at large.  We are not embarrassed that a Christian leader would do this.  Our hope is in God.  God has not changed though these men have.   Nor are we are ashamed that we sat under their teachings or ever believed anything they said.  We believe the gospel, and anything these men preached we tested against Scripture.  We are not ashamed of the gospel.  No mere human can destroy it, Christian or not.  They can’t change what Christ has done.

 

I am terribly sad for these men and their loved ones.  I cannot imagine having a husband or father turn his back on God.  There’s no worse place in the world to be than not believing in what Christ did on the cross.  I really ought to feel the same weight of sorrow over every unsaved sinner I know.  Maybe it seems worse because we thought these men were saved sinners–they had the truth of it in their mouths, and we thought they had it also in their hearts.

There is always good in whatever God does.  Perhaps this is part of the pruning of His church.  Perhaps there will be faith strengthened as other men (and women) see the pit of despair and take heed not to fall in.

In his Instagram announcement, Josh Harris said “no group has the market cornered on grace.”  He’s right.  No group does.  But God does.  He has the market cornered on everything good: grace, peace, love, salvation…

Christ is the only answer worth having; we must cling to Him.

 

 

**There have been a myriad of posts and articles on Harris’ apostasy.  I found this to be the most helpful.

 

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They will know we are Christians by our ______?

~ Penny Girl ~ Leave a comment

I have mostly avoided posting anything about politics, mainly because I have not had the heart nor the mindset to debate.  Not the frame of mind I would have chosen to be in these last few months, given my bent towards soap-box speeches, but there it is.

Here is what I’ve been thinking over the last month and especially yesterday.  It looks long, but it’s where my heart is:
_________________________________________________________

The thing is, if Trump is a baby Christian, as I’m hearing second-hand—not from media, but from people who are close friends with a few of the men in his immediate circle of influence over the last year—

IF he is a Christian….

1)
Shouldn’t we be rejoicing?  He repented.  He repented!  In other words, his sins are forgiven!  He will be with Jesus in paradise with the rest of us redeemed sinners.  And if that’s a tough nut to swallow, maybe we need to re-examine our view of the Cross and the grace that was extended to US.  Donald Trump may have more crass sins in the eye of the public than I do, but I guarantee you, his sin is not actually bigger than mine.  Neither of us deserves grace and forgiveness.  And yet Christ offers it.

2)
If he’s truly repentant, we have a strong hope that the Lord is working on his heart.  That he will change…even if it’s gradual.  If he is a new creation, we WILL see the old things pass away.  There is hope in that.  Have faith.  God can turn “the hearts of kings” who don’t even believe He exists.  How much more thrilling if a leader has put their faith in Him?!

3)
If there was ever a time to say, “Who are we to judge?”, this would be it.  Certainly we don’t know the true state of Trump’s heart towards the Lord, if he is really saved, if he has actually turned from whatever sins God has the right to hold against him.  God says only He Himself can know for sure.  But even the most adamant disagreements with Trump’s political policies do not automatically disqualify him from Christendom.  He can be saved and still not do everything some Christians think he ought.  Yes, I’m a strong believer in judging the fruit of someone’s claim to salvation.  But I don’t expect a newbie Christian to become Martin Luther by next week.

In conclusion, I don’t have a problem with Christians differing on the economy, national security, abortion…okay, I have a problem with Christians differing on that one.  But I’m saddened to see so many believers turn on one another so harshly, so unkindly.  As if their brother or sister in Christ with different views is now their worse enemy.  If the world can only know we are Christians by our love, well….poo.

 

 

Thoughts for a friend

~ Penny Girl ~ Leave a comment

I can’t say that I know what you’re going through, because I actually don’t.  But I don’t need specifics to know that you need encouragement, that you need to hear a story of God working.

This past year I’ve seen a pattern in my life, which I believe also indicates some spiritual attack. It seemed that every time I had an amazing moment or some revelation from God, any time I was seemed to be up on a mountain with Him, I’d get slammed back down to the ground. I felt like the girl in the movie “Bounce”–I only went up so I could go back down, and the higher I went the harder I hit the ground.  Its a lot like being slammed into the ground over and over.

Except…

God.

He was actually the one constant.

I was so tired of bouncing, so tired of valleys.  I complained to Him a lot, and cried a lot (I cry a lot, even for a girl).  But I started seeing how He was building my faith through it.  I hated it while it was happening, every time it happened, but I began to recognize His hand on me and on my life.  I knew that God hadn’t slipped off His throne or turned His head for a moment and dropped me.  I suspected occasional attacks from Satan (I think he gets both not enough credit and too much credit), but I held onto the belief that my God was more powerful and that His love for me would only send good.  Even circumstances that, by my estimation, could not possibly be for my good, are only sent from His sovereign hand for my ultimate good.  (I’m beginning to think that “good” from my perspective is a little shortsighted.)

My life is not necessarily amazing now, I still have occasional valleys, and some days and or weeks I struggle to find motivation beyond getting up and doing my duty for the day.  I don’t know what good will come of what I’ve been going through, except this: my faith.  It is stronger.  Not necessarily in a tangible way, only that now I have a sense of having been through fire and having been upheld by the hand of my God.  I’ve had to decide whether I will follow Him regardless of what He sends or what He withholds.  I’ve had to decide if I trust Him to do me good and not evil.  It’s a powerful thing to receive anything from His hand.

I don’t think anything I share will change your life, but maybe you’ll be encouraged that others have been (or are still) in hard places, too, and that God’s hand is still on you.

I’ll be praying that God does for you what He’s done for me.  Only He can change you from the inside out and build your faith till it is unshakable.  I’ll pray that you begin to crave Him above everything else life could offer.  He Himself is the best reward of all.

—And this from a girl who struggles to spend any time in the Word let alone daily, who still sometimes wonders if God forgot about her when He made romance (or if maybe He’s just deliberately withholding it), who sins regularly and sometime spectacularly, who has no earthly idea how she still trusts in this God of hers… But this God of mine has been gracious enough to give me the gift of faith and to build it continuously.  He is truly a merciful God!

P.S.  Authors who have encouraged me in my faith this past year: John Piper and Elisabeth Elliot.  Elliot in particular has a blunt way of explaining life and faith and perspective that gets my attention every time.  Also, Ann Voskamp’s blog A Holy Experience, one post of which I recently shared on FB.  I know I’m recommending mostly women, but they SEE God and express their faith in ways that build my faith.

Nightmares and gladness and teeth

~ Penny Girl ~ Leave a comment

So you know that scene where the woman has a nightmare that all her teeth are crumbling and falling out?  Yeah…, I kinda felt like that for a minute yesterday when my tooth sorta fell apart while I was standing in the middle of Dillard’s. No lie. I wondered how uncouth it would be to ask around the designer purse section for a napkin to put the pieces into.

I laughed in Dillard’s and then cried on the way home. Battling fear. Scared that the pain would hit me hard when it finally did. Worried that this might just be the beginning of a life full of teeth problems. Anxious about how long before I could see the dentist, wondering how to live with this odd half-a-tooth and eating and brushing…. I basically worried about anything that came to mind.

Oh, the Enemy likes to play with our heads. So I turned to prayer instead of thinking. Here are two of the blessings I came up with immediately.

1) It was the problem tooth. The dentist discovered last Saturday that the filling is leaking and chipping so that was getting replaced anyway; now it’ll be easier for him to investigate. In 10 days.  Which is kind of a long time to wait, but I’ll take it. Since we knew this tooth had issues, this is probably not a sign of things to come for the rest of my teeth.

2) It doesn’t hurt.  Unbelievably. Even when I swished with warm salt water. Even when I brushed gently across it. It’s basically a whole quarter of my tooth that is now missing all the way to the gum; I can see a cross-section of my tooth and the filling. How is this not hurting??? I am in awe of God’s hand on me. This tooth has given me so much trouble. We’re assuming it’s been a major–yet invisible–player in my increasing pain and sometimes sinus problems that began last August. Yet here it is with the most sensitive parts exposed and the only pain I feel is in my jaw when my tongue spends too long messing with this freaky tooth. (I’m training it to play with the teeth on the other side for balance.)

God has been so many things to me through this. My Provider and Sustainer, my Comfort, my Shelter…and now my Healer.

Folks, if you have teeth that bite things for you and don’t wake you up in the middle of the night throwing a tantrum, appreciate them. Thank God for them. Whole teeth are wonderful things.

And for those of you who like weird and gross things as much as I sometimes do, I might take a picture….

Begin

~ Penny Girl ~ Leave a comment

Begin with worship.

For the ache that never seems to ease
For the hurt unknown to others
For the unfulfilled longings of decades
For the character flaws that rip through your life
For the you you can’t stand
For the you you want to be
For the relationships complicated and convoluted
For the imperfect longing for perfection
For the pain reaching for tenderness….

Begin with worship.

Don’t Panic (in large, friendly letters)

~ Penny Girl ~ Leave a comment

There’s something in me that wants to write.

But I’m afraid that my motives are all wrong.  That all I want is for people to notice me, and nod their heads as they say how lovely and smart and wise I am.

But poor motives do not automatically disqualify me from having something to say.

And then I panic—

I think I have too much to say!  How do I organize it all?  How do I decide what comes first?  How do I know what people actually need to hear?  (As opposed to just what ever it is that I want to say.)

 

Too much burden.  I’m done.  I wasn’t meant to be a writer.

Except…now that I’ve started, I’m having a hard time stopping.

encouragement to keep pushing

~ Penny Girl ~ Leave a comment

It’s encouraging to discover that, not only am I a help to the parents/grandparents of my small charge, he misses me, too. Over a month ago, when I had to stay home with a cold, he asked for me: “Grandma, Ra-Ra [that’s me] play, PLEASE!!” So all the work I make him do, all the program activities and therapy…I’m not driving him crazy. Even he feels the benefits.

He continues to improve and amaze us. On days when I’m tempted to just let him play with the iPad while I let my tired brain sort through his program, this pushes me onward. He is growing, his mind expanding. His cleverness finds outlets now. There is hope for his future, not just that he will be happy but that he will learn how to help others. Somewhere in his mind there is brilliance.  We are learning how to tap into it.

Acceptance doesn’t have to equal complacency.  Acceptance doesn’t mean we let him alone.  He will never be like everyone else.  None of us ever are if we know what’s good for us.  He will never be typical, because we cannot erase what God has done.  He will ALWAYS have that extra chromosome.  But we know about potential.  And he has a lot of it.  Acceptance + love = pushing the limits/reaching for the sky/refusing to sit on a diagnosis.  He is special.  I am special.  And we are teaching each other.

*to learn more about his therapy program see this page.

coziness

~ Penny Girl ~ Leave a comment

This is the night I’ve been waiting for since September ended. All gray and blustery. A night that makes the lights on inside so homey and welcoming. A night that makes you wonder if the weatherman has it all wrong and you’ll wake up to snow on the ground.  (Stranger wishes have come true.)

This is a window-cracked-open (you must appreciate the cold), large-mug-of-something-hot-in-hand, cheesy-hallmark-christmas-movie-since-there’s-no-football-on kind of night.  And we’ll take all of these we can get for the holidays.  Welcome, Texas winter.

wait

~ Penny Girl ~ Leave a comment 
        Waiting for the known

Waiting for the unknown

                   anticipation vs. hope

Anticipation sees what is coming.
 Any delay of the reward  
  while frustrated wriggle-inducing, only 
   enhances the excitement.  Children 
  are looking at presents under the tree.
 He's about to get to the good part of the 
story.  She knows what he's about to ask.
                                 Wait for it...

  Hope can have anticipation.
 But deferred too long, might begin 
a slow death.
 Sometimes hope has assurance of the outcome--
     Christ will return.
    It only needs to be reminded of truth to revive.
   But then there is merely 
  the dearly wished for "perhaps one day", 
 and there are no assurances.  
Hope must become at once both watchful and content.

Balance needed. 
  Remembering.
    Not confusing one kind of hope with the other.
   Keep track of truth,
  not confusing dreams with the promises of God. 

Yet truth keeps the heart in its place 
 in all things.
   While all wishes are not promised 
     to come true, 
every need is promised to be met.

                                 Sufficient.

So the waiting 
     continues.
     begins.
     renews.

Hope springs eternal, 
 and when the spring dries 
  up, 
God pours in His water.

            God pours in HIS water...

ireland

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