Wow.
what a weekend…
and, as if it needed a finale,
tonight was certainly it.
sorrow, elation, excitement
fear and joy
how do they all fit in my heart like that?
I should be sleeping,
but I can’t.
Too many thoughts
too many feelings.
So I’ve come down to take
an ibuprofen and calm
my jumbled thoughts.
I think if I just cried it might help
But I hate crying at night,
it gets my nose all stuffy.
Besides I already cried a lot tonight while we prayed.
It’s funny to me how often I want to cry
over things that aren’t really sad.
All it takes is being overwhelmed
and if there’s one sad emotion in me,
it’s enough to set me off.
I have a lot to do tomorrow
good things that I want to do
need to do.
I know I’ll be tempted to sit around
thinking and writing in my journal
and praying.
I need peace.
Peace doesn’t come from sitting around.
I need to learn to be still inside.
I need to learn when to sit still to gain that stillness
inside
and when to be busy and productive with
that stillness in my heart.
God, I need to sleep. I need rest.
Not just for my body, but for my heart.
It’s too full…I’m afraid it might burst…
PennyDaisy 
Pensive past midnight? Scary.
The world is so big in the dark, isn’t it? Never burn the midnight candle alone…the flame will overtake you. All my most horrendous thoughts prey on me at night. Love you!
Hannah J.
Have you tried warm milk?
Thank you for the comment! I enjoyed reading it! I understand the need for stillness in the heart and I have had those nights where I could not rest and I could not be still. I am normally a night owl and that is when my creative juices start flowing. I turn on some Jars (usually either If I Left The Zoo, The Eleventh Hour or Who We Are Instead) and then I start writing poetry or song lyrics or writing posts. But sometimes my mind is just not there and it is restless for something more and it can’t be satisfied with the norm. I have many of those nights, so you are not alone.
Jealous Kind teeters on the edge of being my all time favorite Jars song. It is so passionate and its meaning has such depth. The piano is beautiful (I usually pay attention to piano because I played it for 9 years) and the soulful gospel sound at the very end it so awesome. I love hearing soul music and old gospel. Have you heard about the new Jars album that is coming out on March 22? It has a bunch of old hymn lyrics and Post-Civil War spirituals that are remade with new music by Jars. They also have some excellent gospel singers coming in on the record, such as The Five Blind Boys From Alabama. It should be excellent!
As for the question about why I wished I had gone to the theatre more during the year, I love movies and I love being in movie theatres. I like the atmosphere and I like the fact that friends can sit and discuss before and after the movie. Movies have always been a big part of my life. I could almost tell you at least two actors out of any movie ever made…my friends used to quiz me and they would always get stumped…hahaha. Film is my art of choice and I think film is displayed best in a theatre, just like I think a painting is best displayed in an art museum. I go to movies to watch them and see what elements transcend the screen and bring truth to us. Yes, films do take discernment and not all films are worthy of our time. But when I find a film that is exceptional, it not only speaks to me on an aesthetic level but on a philosophical/theological level. I love talking to people about films and getting into conversations that raise questions of God, man, our place in this world, etc. I try to use that ability to visit with people who may or may not believe in Christ. Films have divine inspiration in them. God can use them to speak truth, even through a non-Christian director (sometimes non-Christians are better at bringing truth to the screen and making it aesthetically captivating than Christians can). Anyways, I don’t want to go on forever, because I have already written a book on here already. But just wanted to comment on your post and your comment on my post and answer your question. I hope I didn’t miss any…..Hope your day went well and that you night will be less restless. Say hi to Gracie for me!
Talk to you later!