PennyDaisy

There is nothing more sad to me than losing the respect of someone.  Especially when you’re not sure you can gain it back, or even how to try.  The worst of it is, when the respect is slowly lost of a period time, will it take twice as long to gain it back?  I’m not sure I want to know the answer.

Why are family relationships the hardest?  Why are the ones we love (or are supposed to love) the most the hardest ones to be loving towards?  Why does it seem like I have all of my parents’ faults and none of their good?  Why does God let me sometimes be this person that I hate?

If I hate my sin enough, will I stop sinning?  Or will I just feel like a failure and stop trying so hard? 

Am I trying too hard?  God said He would make me holy, but isn’t there supposed to be some effort on my part to obey?  Aren’t we supposed to strive for righteousness?

On the wall in my room:

Proverbs 2:1-5

My [daughter], if you receive my words,

       And treasure my commands within you,

    So that  you incline your ear to wisdom,

And apply your heart to understanding;

            Yes, if you cry out for discernment,

       And lift up your voice for understanding,

     If you seek her as silver,

And search for her as for hidden treasures;

            Then you will understand the fear of the Lord,

        And find the knowledge of God.

I will be grateful for this trial, this battle against my flesh.  I welcome anything that turns my face towards my Savior.